Seven Minutes of Heaven, Seven Hours in Hell
by Ian Reid
Summary: Noah finds himself stuck in a room with Eva on her period. He's not sure if he'll last until help arrives!


Seven Minutes of Heaven, Seven Hours in Hell  
By  
Ian Reid

Noah looked up irritated from his book as he sat in the reading room of Playa Des Losers, looking out into the hall as Duncan and Courtney passed by, arguing about something trivial, no doubt. It had been like this since the end of Action, and the former campers had a week left on the rather generous deposit by the host Chris McLean. Noah didn't have cause to complain about that, at least. Chances were good the moment he got home, his mother would nag him into getting some summer project done before school, and that was stress he wasn't looking forward to. Geoff and Bridgette walked past from the other way, holding hands and giggling.  
Romance was not a top priority in Noah's itinerary while he competed, but there was something about seeing other couples that unsettled him. He wasn't sure what that was, yet his mind had other problems worth focusing on: like finding his place again in the book he was reading. As soon as he settled back down to continue reading, Izzy ran down the corridor cackling madly, leaving Noah unprepared to behold her topless. Noah did not think Izzy the type to have piercings or a small dolphin tattoo. She said something about, "letting the girls breathe" and continued skipping down the hall. Much to Noah's misfortune, Owen followed soon after, wearing even less. Noah wasn't traumatized by this, Owen had him desensitized to the frequency of nudity during his time on the island. It suddenly occurred to Noah that maybe his mother nagging him about a home project was an improvement to this asylum.  
Noah sighed as he looked again for his place in the book. "Just another week of this," he grumbled, reminding himself of how much longer he had to put up with these lunatics.

He read in relative silence for another forty-five minutes, glad to finally reach the end of yet another book. He set the finished book on a stack beside him, getting up for a quick stretch and sat back down, reaching over for another book on the stack on his other side, and opened it. Again, the hallway came to life with chattering, Katie and Sadie talking about girly things, followed by Lindsay and Beth talking shopping and more girly things. Noah's irritation was at its limit, and he set the book down, storming to the reading room's door, intent to shut it and leave him in peace once more. Movement from the corner of his eye made Noah look over to Eva staggering down the hall towards him. She didn't look her normal self, in fact paler than usual.  
"What's the matter, 'Roid Rage, lose an argument with the treadmill again?" Noah taunted. Eva groaned again, looking less dangerous than usual.  
"Shut up, Noah," she retorted, stopping next to him and doubled over, an arm across her abdomen. "Not in the mood for it, right now."  
"What happened, do too many crunches?" Noah continued the taunting. She growled at him through clenched, gritting teeth.  
"Seriously, I'm not feeling good here," she insisted. "I feel like I kicked myself in the stomach."  
"I can't imagine how that must feel for you," Noah said, seemingly devoid of pity. Eva retaliated, putting up with the pain long enough to stand straight and kick Noah square in the stomach, knocking the air out of him.  
"Your point is rather valid," he wheezed, doubled over on his knees. Eva stalked off, grumbling on about her cramps. Cody's voice came down the hall, saying something indistinct, followed by a girlish shriek and something breaking. Noah stood despite the dizzying pain, closed the door behind him, and went back to reading.

Noah had dozed in the middle of his book, which was left open in his lap as he snoozed soundly. A sudden, nervous jerk pulled Noah out of his nap, making him suddenly aware of how silent the reading room was. Total silence. He shifted in his seat, deciding after a moment he had enough reading and left the open book on the seat while he went to the buffet table for some food, provided Owen hadn't gotten there first and cleared it completely, like he did.  
The buffet table sprawled with everything Noah wished Wawanakwa served, and always found it to be a thing of beauty. He couldn't remember the last time he had a meal look and taste so good. Not that his mother wasn't a bad cook, mind, but compared to this hers left so much to be desired. Noah approached the buffet table hungrily.  
"Noah, there you are!"  
Noah's skin crawled at the sound of Heather's voice. He turned to face her, finding her hair was growing in. She looked almost boyish with how short it really was.  
"What do you want, Heather?" Noah asked curtly, his stomach not wanting to wait any longer to be filled.  
"Lindsay invited the whole group to a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven, you wanna join?" Heather asked. Noah cocked an eyebrow at the seemingly innocent gesture on her part, but knew better than to trust her.  
"Tempting as that invitation is, I think I'll decline," Noah said. "I have a lot more reading I want to catch up on." He turned back toward the buffet table.  
"Eva's going to be there," Heather said, her tone was melodious and tempting. Noah was wiser to Heather's tricks and this sort of thing didn't give him pause to reconsider.  
"And how did you manage that?" Noah asked, suspicious of her methods.  
Heather's eyes stared off into space innocently, brushing her nails against her halter-top. "A girl has her ways," she replied simply.  
Noah's eyes remained locked on the buffet table calling to him like a siren song. This was a trap. Everything Heather did was a trap. Noah knew it well enough after watching her and analyzing her methods in two seasons.  
"I'm sure you do," he said still unconvinced. He made the mistake of turning to face her, crossing his arms to stand his ground. "I know better than to ask this, but why should I care?"  
"I might have promised Eva you'd join," Heather said. Noah knew for certain, Eva was liable to tear someone limb from limb if they didn't deliver on their promise. Noah saw it on two different accounts; the first being when a pizza was delivered and had onions. The second time was when Cody promised her the last parfait at dinner time; he still wakes up screaming from that time to time. There it was; in Heather's eye, that scheming, manipulative glint whenever she needed something to go her way.  
_Oh, she's good,_ Noah thought. _Almost _too _good._ He rolled his eyes and knew he'd regret taking the obvious bait, and sighed. Chances were she wasn't going to give up until he accepted anyway.  
Of course not; it's Heather.  
"Alright, let's get this over with," Noah sighed, and followed after Heather.

Noah's forehead thudded against the empty guestroom wall; partly in the fact he fell for Heather's ruse so easily, partly in hopes that someone would hear it and come to their rescue, but also mostly in boredom.  
"How long have we been in here?"  
Noah looked at his wrist like he was wearing a watch.  
"About five minutes since the last time you asked," he replied to Eva's question, fed up with the frequency. "Which over all has been about two hours, give or take?" He sat against the wall across from Eva, who was doubled over and grumbling about her misery. The door was locked from the other side, thanks to Heather, and Noah cursed himself again for giving her the benefit of the doubt. There was little chance anyone would come this way to check through the rooms for them. This discouraged Noah all the more when he realized he hadn't eaten all day. Eva groaned again, clutching at her abdomen in pain.  
"Goddamn, this really hurts," Eva grunted. Noah cocked an eyebrow at her quizzically.  
"Maybe next time you should go easy on the crunches, Iron-Woman," Noah said. She gritted her teeth while putting up with the pain as best she could.  
"Maybe you should stop being such a smart-ass and be nice once in a while," she retorted. "You ever wonder why you didn't last so long?"  
Noah glanced sideways. "Lasted longer than you," he muttered.  
"At least I got a come back," Eva snapped. Noah opened his mouth to argue that point, but found he had little else of worth for the rebuttal.  
"Touché," he replied.  
"Besides, you didn't even try to put effort into the challenge," Eva added.  
"You still got voted off twice because of your bloodlust," Noah responded. All of this didn't seem to help Noah any, as Eva lunged for him. Noah yelped in surprise and darted to a corner before Eva's fist punctured the wall where his head would have been. She was up and about, and the room was small. Neither factor helped Noah any. He darted again out of the corner before she could close in on him, leaping onto one of the beds in the room. He stood on the other side of the room, further from the door than he'd have liked.  
Eva turned from the corner to face him. "Stop moving so I can maim you!" she growled, ignoring the pain of her cramps.  
"I'd like to be alive when the search party finds me, thanks," Noah answered. "Now calm down before you bring the whole spa down on top of us, would you?" Eva, in her fury, registered his words on a primal level, took some breaths and sat against the wall, the pain of her cramps hitting her fully and she doubled over again. Noah sat on the bed and remained there. Hopefully he'd be rescued _before_ she strangled him with his own intestines.

Another hour crawled by in silence. Noah sat, watching Eva from the other side of the room. She grumbled irritated under her breath.  
"What did we do to deserve this?" Eva asked finally, voicing a question that had been on Noah's mind for the last hour and a half. He knew asking it would seem futile, as he doubted Eva would have had such an answer on hand.  
"It's obvious Heather's a sociopath," Noah responded. "Why else would she choose to lock two people who clearly can't stand one another in a room together?" Eva glanced sideways, slightly blushing as a thought crossed her mind.  
"I can stand you just fine," she said quietly. "We seemed to get along trying to go for the million, right?"  
"Only because I needed your brawn," Noah answered. "I'm not the physical type and you had enough for—wait, what do you mean you can stand me just fine?" Eva looked sheepishly about the room to avoid eye contact.  
"You have got to be kidding," he said, less in disbelief and more in revelation of the facts. Eva growled irritated.  
"OK, maybe I do like you a little," she admitted. "But so what?"  
"Wow, if you were any more blunt, you'd be able to bludgeon people just by talking," he replied. Eva raised a fist and tightened it threateningly at him.  
"I just might if my cramps would stop already," she said through clenched teeth.  
A thought, though one of many for Noah, crossed his mind at the mention of Eva's cramps. "It isn't that time of the month for you, is it?" he asked plainly, not seeming to need to dance around the subject. He was mature about the classes in high school, sure, but at the same time, they also made him squeamish. Eva had to have figured it out also, nodding in response.  
"Great, so I'm locked in a room with a violent girl on her period," he said. "Heather knew just how I wanted my life to end."  
"Could be worse," Eva smirked, "it could have been Izzy or even Courtney instead of me." When she put it like that, Noah considered his situation less dire than he perceived initially. He was fairly sure he didn't want Izzy on her period to show off her nipple rings and dolphin tattoo in a fit of emotional stress.

Their conversation lasted for at least another hour, ranging from her favorite types of gym equipment to his favorite books, to poetry and literature and even found a certain commonality in music. Eva, though, once they ran out of topics they had in common, brought up something Noah cringed at the mention.  
"Can we _please_ not bring that up again?" Noah begged as Eva recounted the time on the island he spooned with Cody during the Awake-a-thon. He shifted uncomfortably at the mention. Eva chuckled, seeming in better spirits with her mind taken off the pain of her cramps.  
"Now that was funny," she said amusedly. "I liked it especially when you two screamed." Noah couldn't believe it. The aggressive, ruthless, muscle-bound strong-woman found his screaming and suffering amusing? Noah wasn't sure what to make of this new Eva: from angry, growling and threatening to disembowel you; to cheery, bright and happy in a matter of hours? Girls on their periods are _weird_. He hoped only it was just the effects of her period and not that she was harboring secret feelings for him this whole time. He wasn't sure he was ready for the end-times. He had so many chess tournaments to win before he died.  
"Glad you find my suffering amusing," he retorted.  
"You do drive me crazy sometimes, though," Eva added.  
Noah arched an eyebrow. "Because I can argue circles around you?" he replied.  
Eva shook her head in agreement there. "Well yeah, that too," she said, "but you drive me crazy because you're so cocky. I like that in a guy." Noah felt the color rise in his cheeks. He looked away.  
"You're not so bad yourself, I guess," he replied, "when you're not trying to toss someone out a window."  
Eva sighed and rolled her eyes. "It was one time, and Tyler was asking for it," she said in her defense.  
"He accidentally stepped on your foot," he recounted the incident. "You tried to make him eat his own sweatband." Eva shrugged and scoffed. Her mind was elsewhere, clearly not on her cramps.

Noah quietly pleaded with whatever merciful deity was listening to grant him the sweet release of death as Eva tightened the crook of her elbow around his neck.  
"And this is called the choke-hold," she instructed. Noah gurgled something unintelligibly as the air was crushed from his throat and life seemingly draining from his body. He _had_ to ask about why she liked to watch wrestling. Noah mentally kicked himself for such a stupid question. Eva loosened her grip on his neck and released him. He collapsed to the floor in a gasping heap, coughing as the sweet air rushed to his lungs.  
"No more, please!" Noah begged once he found his voice. "I promise to never doubt wrestling's value for entertainment." Eva snorted approvingly of Noah's declaration.  
_For now_, he added in thought.  
Eva stood over Noah, arms crossed and looking rather pleased with successful display of power.  
"But you get the basic idea," she said. "Some of those moves have really come in handy for me."  
"Only a raving idiot could put themselves at arm's length willingly for you to choke-slam them," Noah answered. He propped himself on his elbows to sit up, deciding to use his newfound wrestling knowledge and hooked a hand behind Eva's knee. She let out a surprised yelp as her leg gave out under her. Noah only then realized the mistake of his surprise attack, as Eva landed on top and pinned him. She seemed surprised too, as the color flushed her cheeks. Noah shifted uncomfortably in his new position.  
"Please get off me," he said. Eva's face drew in closer to him.  
"Not yet," she said sweetly. Her lips were so close. Noah's heart began to beat rapidly. This was not how he imagined he'd have his first kiss. Her face hovered inches from his. She moved nearer, nearer, and—  
"There you—Uh... you guys want I should leave you two alone?"  
Noah and Eva looked over at the door swung open with Beth and Harold standing in the threshold. Eva straightened, getting to her feet and offered a hand to Noah. He stood with the offered help and glanced away awkwardly.  
"Maybe this was a bad time," Beth said sheepishly, not sure what to make of the spectacle she and Harold walked in on.  
"What took you?" Noah asked, irritated at the interruption and at the same time glad to see rescue had finally come.  
Eva tightened a fist. "Where the hell have you been?" she exclaimed, stamping a foot in their direction. Beth and Harold flinched at her outburst. "I've been stuck with this pencil-neck geek for hours! I'm starving!" Beth let out a terrified whimper and darted into the hallway.  
"You don't have to yell, _gosh_!" Harold huffed and walked out, leaving the door ajar as he left. Noah sighed as they left. Eva started for the door, turning to face Noah's gaze.  
"What happened between us doesn't leave this room," she warned, her grimace shifting quickly to a playful wink. Noah rolled his eyes and followed after her.  
"Wouldn't have it any other way," he said, and hoped Owen hadn't cleaned off the buffet table.

Author's Commentary: OK, so this story was kind of an ordeal to write. The base concept for it came from a rather interesting thread in one of the Total Drama forums I frequent, It was originally set on Total Drama Island as a rewards challenge before the Awake-a-thon, Noah and Eva locked in the walk-in fridge and stuck there. I changed the scene to Playa Des Losers, with the same scenario, but felt the transition took too long. When I wrote this version, I was kind of happy with out it started out. I had to really watch of a lot of World Tour to get Noah's personality right and hoped I did him justice here. Eva was kind of easier to write. Granted, she has a softer side, which she only showed for a moment before she was voted off. I kind of like Eva in that perspective. The two feel compatible to me, in that they complement a feature the other doesn't have, Noah's brains and Eva's brawn. I guess it wasn't really a whole seven hour-span in the story, but padding out that much story to feel like that much time had passed, was a lot tougher to write. I don't like to waste time on one detail longer than I need to. So I'm kind of meh with this story; it's not as good as I wanted it to be, but it's not something I'm totally disgusted with to the point I wouldn't even upload it.


End file.
